What to do when in Love

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When in love, fearlessly express your love in a variety of ways. Never worry about what others might say or think. Always speak the truth that lies in your heart.

When in love, gather all your courage with both hands, and feel free to beat up your man, or chase him around the village square as Ntsame Minlame did in Daniel Mengara’s Mema, at the end of the chase, you can always dramatically end the scene by using your machete on yourself, what better way to demonstrate the term ‘crazy in love’.

Continue to love selflessly a person who has demonstrated countless times, the inability to reciprocate your love, a person who does not in any way deserve your love or friendship, when in love, you are allowed major acts of stupidity and great foolishness, after all, it is only fools who love.

When in love, please remember to act irrational, you are after all high on the drug ‘love’. You cannot be blamed for your deeds. You follow only the dictates of your heart.

Where thou goes, there also shall I go, if you smoke weed, I’ll smoke some too, if you jump off the third mainland bridge, baby, I’ll be right behind you.

Being in love allows you quarrel with everyone you’ve known all your life for the sake of your boo. They don’t know how this person makes you feel, he’s the best, she’s the best! Bla bla, no one can understand you, because no one has ever loved like you.

The sun is obviously brighter, and the whole world is much more beautiful, even the debris in the gutter looks like art in your love struck eyes.

Love is a beautiful drug. It made you empty your bank account for your amore. It also made you fly away for a weekend getaway on a Tuesday, when you should have been tending to pressing matters at work and caused you to be fired on Monday morning.

Ah! Lest I forget, you must forget yourself and what you deserve, you must mould yourself and build your life around the one you love so deeply, passionately, foolishly. After all, love is all about giving selflessly.

Accept it when birthdays are forgotten, and  gifts turn out to be discarded things your lover could do without. There’s love in sharing. You on the other can spend hours poring over the perfect gift, someone has to teach by example, besides, its only been  7 years, he’ll learn next year.

 

My mother never

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My Mother never told me about ever jumping off a moving train in hot pursuit of a thief.
Grandma Did you  know?
Ahn Ahn – did you not know?
Nooo! I did not know oh!
Mummy never said.
Your mother was a student at the time and was travelling to Yola from Kaduna. I told her to give me her school money to keep because they are many thieves on the train , she refused, and put it in her bag.


It was while we were arguing about it, that a thief snatched her bag.
Your mother wasted no time, she immediately took off after him. I ran after her screaming ‘thief thief’ Catch that thief! –
To avoid being caught, the thief jumped off the train as it slowed down,  but he had stolen from the wrong person, because your mother jumped off too, and so did I.

What! You too!
Ha, I was quite fit in those days my dear.

Your mother caught up with the thief and started fighting with him. I joined in, thinking that we could over power him, but he turned to me in the struggle and latched his teeth and bit so hard into my breast, causing it to bleed profusely.
That is how I got this scar.